Thứ Ba, 19 tháng 3, 2013

Funny Stories English 1

(Funny Stories English) - The Best Funny Short Stories English 2013 Ep1 - CHANCE

One day, an old lady went to the Bank of Canada with a large bag full of money. The old lady insisted to speak to the president of the Bank in order to open a saving account because she said, she had a lot of money.

After many discussions an employee took her along to the office the president.
She answered him 165.000$, while putting the money on his desk.
Curious, he asked her how she succeeded in saving such a lot of money.
The old lady answered him that she made bets.

The president quite surprised asked her: " Which kind of bets?"
The old lady answered him: " For example, i bet you 25.000$ that your testicles are square".
The president started to laugh and pointed out that this kind of bets was impossible to win!

Then, the old lady replied:" Would like you to make this bet?"
"Certainly, answered the presiden, i guarantee you 25.000$ that my testicles are not square"
The old lady this said to him: " I agree, but given the importance of the implied sum, i will inconvenience".
" No problem" said the president of the Bank very trustfully.

That evening, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long tie in front of his mirror examning his testicles, turning them in all directions, again and again, in order to make sure that his damned testicles could not be seen as square and therefore to be sure to win this bet.
On the next day, 10 am sharp, the old lady arrived with her lawyer at the office of the president to confirm the bet of 25.000$ for the fact that his testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was in agreement with the commitments taken the day before.
The old lady this asked him to drop his trousers, and the remainder, so that she and her lawyer can see everything; what the president kindly did. The old lady came then closer to see and asked him whether she could touch them or not.
" Of course please do!", said the president to her, given the fact that there is so much money involved, you must be 100% sure."
And the lade started to do so with a smile ..

The president realized that the lawyer was strucking his head against the wall.
He asked the old lady why the lawyer was reacting like that.
She answered:" It is probably due to the fact that i bet 100.000$ with him that, around 10 am, i would be holding the testicles of the president of the Bank of Canada in my hand!

Thứ Tư, 13 tháng 3, 2013

Funny story - I LOVE YOU

(Funny stories English) - I LOVE YOU

A man was out for a drink with his wife one night and he said, "I love you".
The wife asked, "Is that you or the beer talking"
He said, "It's me........ I'm talking to the beer"!

Funny story - A man and his wife

(Funny stories English - A man and his wife)

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. So the wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.

Funny english story - Flies

Funny Stories English - Flies

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband walking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

Funny Stories English

(Funny Stories English) - The best funny stories english 2013 continuous update here.

----- The Child And His Mother ------
A curious child asked his mother:
- Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child:

- It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of your will turn one of my hairs grey!
The child replied innocetly:
- Now, i know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.
:D @@$%%^#

----- Mother and Daughter
A girl was crying bitterly.
Mom: What happened dear?
Daughter: Mom, do i look like a wicked witch?

Mom: No!
Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad?

Mom: No!
Daughter: Is my nose flat?

Mom: No baby!
Daughter: Am i fat like a bulldog?

Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a barbie doll!
Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom!

=)))))
Conti...

Chủ Nhật, 10 tháng 3, 2013

Truyện cười ngắn 2013 tập 1

(Truyện Cười Cực Hay) Những mẩu chuyện ngắn hay nhất năm 2013 liên tục được cập nhật tại đây.

Truyện cười Bệnh nhân tâm thần:
Tại bệnh viện tâm thần, bác sĩ nói với một bệnh nhân muốn xin về:
- Được thôi, nếu anh thật sự khỏi bệnh.
- Ồ! Em khỏi lâu rồi thưa bác sĩ.
- Vậy khi ra viện, anh sẽ làm gì ?

- Em sẽ lấy ná thun bắn bể hết bóng đèn của bệnh viện.
Bệnh nhân được nhốt lại, Một tháng sau, anh ta tiếp tục đòi về, bác sĩ hỏi, và câu trả lời vẫn như cũ.
Ba tháng sau, anh ta đòi về, bác sĩ kiểm tra sự tỉnh táo của anh ta:
- Ra khỏi bệnh viện, anh làm gì?
- Dạ ... em về nhà thưa bác sĩ.
- À, khá lắm! Rồi sao nữa?
- Dạ, em tắm rửa thật sạch sẽ, hớt tóc, cạo râu đàng hoàng.
- Tốt! Sau đó?
- Dạ em đi chơi phố, làm quen với một cô gái xinh đẹp. Em mời cô ấy đi ăn kem, nghe nhạc hoặc khiêu vũ ...
- Tuyệt vời! Bác sĩ thốt lên. - Anh hết bệnh thật rồi đấy. Nhưng sau khi khiêu vũ?
- Dạ, em sẽ mời cô ấy về nhà, xin cô ấy cởi áo...
- Anh quá lắm nhé! Nhưng cần phải giữ sức khỏe đấy, anh chỉ vừa mới hồi phục thôi đó nghe!
- Bác sĩ đừng lo. Em đề nghị cô ấy cởi áo, rồi xin cái sợi dây thun áo cô ấy đề làm ná, và em sẽ (anh ta gào lên) ... sẽ bắn bể hết bóng đèn của bệnh viện.
- @#$%&&&^&

----------------- "Sư tử hà đông" : ------
Buổi tối, bà vợ nấu nướng xong liền ra lệnh cho con gọi điện cho bố về ăn cơm ngay. Thằng con sau một hồi hì hục gọi, chạy ra bảo mẹ:
- Mẹ ơi, con gọi cho ba mấy lần mà lần nào cũng có một cô trả lời.
Bà vợ điên quá, đợi đến lúc chồng làm về liền nhảy ra đấm đá túi bụi. Ông chồng bị bất ngờ không hiểu vì sao chỉ kịp nằm lăn ra kêu cứu. Hàng xóm thấy vậy sang xem rất đông.
Thấy thế, bà vợ lúc này mặt vẫn hầm hầm liền bảo thằng con:
- Mày quay ra nói cho các bác ấy nghe đi, cái đứa kia nó trả lời máy của bố mày thế nào?
- Dạ, cô ấy bảo "Số máy quý khách vừa gọi hiện không liên lạc được, xin quý khách gọi lại sau ..."
=)))))
(st)
Chúc các bạn đọc vui vẻ, sảng khoái với Truyện Cười Cực Hay.